


Mission: Impossible

by SmileAndASong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Loves Burgers, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Purgatory (Supernatural), Season/Series 08, Stubborn Dean Winchester, Worried Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29206440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong/pseuds/SmileAndASong
Summary: “It’s a meat substitute, yes,” Castiel explains. “But as I said, it’s not ‘hippie-dippie’ meat. It’s Impossible Meat.”“The only ‘impossible’ thing going on here is thinking you could fool me with this!” Dean glares down at the impostor of a burger in his hands. “This is an abomination.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	Mission: Impossible

**Author's Note:**

> Not too much to say here other than I was eating an Impossible Whopper while watching an absurd amount of Supernatural last night, and I got inspired. If you're not familiar with Impossible Meat, it's a very popular plant-based protein that's commonly used for meatless burgers nowadays. And not to turn this into a promo for it, but it's really quite tasty, contrary to Dean's opinions in this fic :)
> 
> This fic takes place in season 8 when Castiel was joining Dean and Sam on their hunts, only in a realm that ignores most of the Naomi manipulation thing, where instead, we got more of this hunter!Cas content, because that was great. But canon isn't overly important for this fic, it's mostly something silly (and slightly angsty) that I felt compelled to write.
> 
> Fic is unbeta'd, any mistakes are my own! Comments and kudos are always appreciated, thank you for taking the time to read :)

Normally, Cas didn’t have much of an opinion when it came to lunch and what they had for it. He didn’t really need to eat; he just did it sometimes so it wouldn’t be him just awkwardly sitting and staring while Dean shoveled some deep fried disaster into his mouth and Sam picked at his plate of leaves. 

But when Dean had broken the work-induced silence midday and asked Sam if he was hungry, it was Cas who had spoken up and volunteered to go out and get them some food. Seeing as Cas wasn’t exactly doing much for this research part in the case -- if he even so much as tried to touch a computer, he’d more than likely break it -- Dean figured it was a good enough idea. 

“Anything works,” Dean had told Cas as he handed him some cash. “And by anything, I obviously mean no leaves. None of that rabbit food. Got it?”

“No leaves, got it,” Cas had agreed, before scurrying off. 

It’s not too long before he returns, in the abrupt and confounding manner that’s so synonymous with the angel, and he’s got a promising looking grease-soaked paper bag in hand.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Dean says, grinning and rubbing his hands together. “C’mon, bring her over, I’m starved.”

Cas sets the bag down on the small table that Sam and Dean are working at. “No leaves.” He opens the bag and hands Dean and Sam each a big burger. “And I even told them to keep all of the unwelcome vegetables off of your sandwich, Dean.”

“You’re a true treasure, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Dean unwraps his burger and takes a big bite. 

God does he love burgers.

Groaning in satisfaction, Dean immediately takes another bite, but as he continues to chew, his expression morphs into one of bewilderment. He pulls the burger away from his mouth and looks down at it, blinking.

“Something wrong?” Sam asks.

“Hmm?” Dean shakes his head. “No, just uh...not enough ketchup, I think.”

Cas reaches into the bag and pulls out a few packets. “I have the ketchup!” He offers them to Dean, practically shoving them in his face. “I made it a point to grab some on the way out. For you.”

Flinching, Dean gently pushes’ Cas’ hand out of his face and takes one of the packets. “Uh, thanks.” He lifts the bun of his burger and adds more ketchup before taking another bite, but still, the confusion remains. He turns to Sam. “Do these taste funny to you?”

“Not really,” Sam says, shrugging. “Tastes like a pretty solid burger to me.”

“I don’t know...” Dean mumbles and takes another bite, chewing slower this time and really focusing on it. “It’s not bad or anything, maybe a little overcooked, but it’s more than that. It feels like it’s missing something?”

“Yeah, lettuce, tomato, onion? All things normal people put on their burgers that you won’t let come near you,” Sam quips.

“Hilarious,” Dean says, dryly, much like the burger in his hand. “I’m serious though, it just tastes so--”

“I have a confession to make,” Castiel abruptly interrupts, an anxious and guilt-ridden look on his face that immediately raises cause for concern from Dean.

He sits more upright and turns to look at Cas fully. “What is it? What’s wrong?” 

Cas bites down on his lip and swallows. “The burgers. You’re right, there is something different about them, and that’s because...they’re not burgers. Well, not in the traditional sense, that is.”

“They’re not?” Dean abruptly tosses his burger back onto the wrapper, like it’s some sort of lethal bomb about to detonate. “What the hell are they then?”

“They’re Impossible Burgers," Cas answers.

“Really?” Sam grins as he looks down at his burger. “Well that explains a lot! I’ve heard good things about Impossible Meat for awhile now, but I had no idea it was going to be this impressive. It’s honestly even better than eating real meat, so much flavor!”

“Woah, woah, back up -- ‘real’ meat?” Dean picks up his burger and looks to Cas. “You mean to tell me that this is some of that fake hippie-dippie meat?”

“It’s a meat substitute, yes,” Castiel explains. “But as I said, it’s not ‘hippie-dippie’ meat. It’s Impossible Meat.”

“The only ‘impossible’ thing going on here is thinking you could fool me with this!” Dean glares down at the impostor of a burger in his hands. “This is an abomination.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “You just said that it wasn’t bad.”

“Yeah, not bad for rabbit food, but compared to an actual burger? There’s no contest!” Dean argues.

Sam opens his mouth to counter but before he can get a word out, his cell phone rings. “Hello?” He answers, glaring at Dean as he steps out of the motel room to take the call.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel says, his head hanging low and looking like a kid who got his hand caught in a cookie jar. “I did not mean to be deceptive or to lead you astray.”

“It’s bad enough that Sammy’s always on my ass about this health food crap, now you’re gonna be doing it, too?” Dean shakes his head and crosses his arms. “Can’t a man just eat a burger -- a _real_ burger -- in peace?”

“I’m sorry,” Castiel apologizes again. “But please, know that my intentions were good.” 

“Yeah?” Dean snorts. “And what were those?”

Castiel shifts slightly and looks down at his shoes. “I was looking at some magazines when we stopped at that convenience store on the way here. And while you were obtaining the gasoline, I had time to read an article about ‘the dangers of red meat’. It said that overconsumption of it can lead to increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, even cancer, all of which could result in…” 

Castiel winces; he doesn’t get the word out, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s trying to say.

“Anyway,” He continues, clearing his throat. “When we arrived in town, we drove by a restaurant advertising their ‘impossible health burgers’, so needless to say, I was intrigued by that sort of promise. I found out they are burgers, technically speaking, and without that perilous red meat. And considering how much you enjoy burgers, it just seemed like the perfect solution to it all.”

Dean heaves out a sigh and runs a hand over his face. “Cas…” 

Dean risks his life every single day. He jumps head first into danger and takes on demons, monsters, and everything in between. And yet, Castiel is genuinely worried about the possibility of him _maybe_ getting diabetes twenty years down the road because of one too many double-cheeseburgers -- that’s assuming that Dean even makes it that far. Because realistically, he stopped considering that as a possibility for himself a long time ago, although he keeps that to himself. 

It’s absolutely absurd, it makes almost no sense, but still, it’s so sweet, so sincere, and so very Castiel.

And it certainly leaves Dean feeling like more than a colossal jerk, especially now that Cas is back in his life after thinking he was gone for good, and especially after all that Cas had been through and miraculously survived. Of course he’s going to be scared to lose it all once again.

To lose Dean once again.

“I appreciate the gesture, Cas, really, I do,” Dean eventually says after a stiff silence. “But you don’t have to worry so much. It’s gonna take a lot more than some slightly clogged arteries to take me out. And if I _am_ dying, it better be from something a lot more badass than that, or I’m not going.”

Dean laughs in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Cas doesn’t join in. He’s still got that dejected, guilty look still on his face. 

Frowning, Dean turns back to the so-called ‘impossible’ burger on the table. He picks it up, scrutinizing it carefully.

“I will give them this,” Dean says. “It does _look_ like a real burger, not like all that tofu crap Sammy likes.” He hesitates before forcing himself to take another bite. “And like I said, it’s not bad. For rabbit food, that is.”

“Really?” Castiel asks, his interest piqued. “So you do like it then?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Dean quickly refutes. “But if I _have_ to eat rabbit food? This is definitely the best option. Nice work, mission 'impossible' complete.”

“Thank you.” Castiel beams at him, his smile big and bright. And seeing that warm, radiant happiness and satisfaction on Castiel's face? It makes it all worth it for Dean. It’s powerful enough that, for a moment, Dean almost forgets that he’s eating some frankensteined concoction of soy and wheat and not actual meat -- but only for a moment. 

Still, he finishes the entire ‘burger’ and turns to Cas with a smile of his own as he finishes. “All done.”

“No, you’re not.” Castiel reaches for the bag. “You have to try the yucca fries, they have twice the protein and fiber of regular fries. And the pie, they had a pie, Dean! It’s vegan and uses all natural sugars. It’s apple, your favorite!” Castiel excitedly pulls the contents out of the bag and sets them down in front of Dean.

Dean resists the urge to grimace and forces a smile. “Yeah, I, uh... I can’t wait.” 

Except for the fact that he very much _can_ wait. He’ll wait an entire lifetime, hell, he’ll wait ten lifetimes if he’s gotta. But for Cas and that sweet, perfect smile of his? He’ll endure it. He’ll always endure it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again for reading, feel free to find me on [tumblr](https://emonatural.tumblr.com) if you wanna join me in talking excessively about the hit cw television series supernatural (or impossible burgers, because they really are amazing!)


End file.
